Mar 10
I’m seriously feeling the most in my lower abdomen! Like, ever! This is insane! I can feel so much of the digestion process! My tummy is grumbling! Haha 😂
Mar 11
Wow! First Monday with the standing frame and I decided to stand in it for 2hrs right now!! And the sensations and motor responses to it have been amazing!!
Wow okay wow…. So like….. I had to get up around 2ish to go to the bathroom, and when I sat on the toilet to do my ‘thing’, I saw something interesting dribbling down the outside edge of the toilet bowl…. Turns out…. That was me going pee!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I haven’t EVER seen me do that yet!!! That was absolutely incredible to see!! This means I’m getting it back! I just need to help it along the way! I’ll have to work on that!
I’ve realized something…
Wow, I’m in the standing frame for the second time today, so I already was up here for 2hrs, and I’m legitimately feeling a cramp??? Yep, can confirm this was a bit of a nasty cramp from having to use the bathroom… can confirm.
Also, I noticed after I got back in the standing frame, that I can actually feel myself letting loose some “toots”!!!?!?!? Seems so weird to say, but I legitimately haven’t had this feeling in what is such a long time!
It’s really interesting, looking back at last week, and how sick/ not well I was feeling. My nose is still pretty stuffy, and I’m feeling a lot better. As I’m saying this though, I feel what seriously can only be described as a “phantom” of sorts. This odd feeling where my abdomen will spasm. It pulls me forward, knocking myself out of balance, making me drop whatever it is I’m doing and use both hands to brace myself. I have to remember to actually breathe and take a breath, because otherwise I will end up fighting myself even more. It’s a really difficult process to work back from, since it’s so jarring of a movement. But once I’m able to regain my balance, take a breath, and re-focus in on what I’m doing, I’m able to better address the situation at hand.
I’m really trying to make sure I make the most of my time in the standing frame. Wether it’s stretching, moving my arms and upper body, attempting to support myself with only my trunk, regardless of what I’m doing I’m really trying to use it all the best as I can.
Wow, the gym went really well today! I did some TRX exercises, and seriously, I can feel my whole abdomen waking up when I’m doing them! It’s been a really great gym session, I’m really feeling all the gains I’ve been working so hard on for the past 2-1/2 months!
What’s really crazy, is all the different feelings I’m getting while I’m up in the standing frame. I’m able to feel so much more free and loose! Seeing my reflection in the window at night, and how tall I actually am, makes me feel like Joe again. Sometimes it gets really tough in that chair.
My abdomen is sooo freaking tight! I can feel how great I feel afterwards when I get down, and how the tightness is slowly working itself loose!
Mar 12
Wow! It’s 9:00am and I’ve already gotten dressed, cleaned up and did my bathroom stuff, ate, drank a whole water bottle, and got in the standing frame! this has been an incredibly productive morning!
When I’m in the standing frame, I can really feel myself loosen up and relax! And feel my muscles engaging in my legs! Right now I’m sitting up with no back support, and I actually have pretty decent balance!
Our bodies truly are built to be able to withstand and deal with so much. This spinal cord injury really had helped open my eyes to the capabilities we all really have. It just takes so much work, and is such a long and arduous process.
Okay, so therapy went really well today! I was able to let Ashley and Berrit know about the standing frame from Bill! I gotta get up in it as much as I can these days! What’s really cool is they both confirmed that’s an acceptable amount of time to get in the stand for!
When I was working on getting the KAFO’s on, I realized how much easier it was for me to help move my legs around! They definitely are loosening up from the standing frame, it’s just hard to say how much and how quick.
When I got up walking during PT in the braces, I realized some really cool observations! I was able to kick out and readjust my freaking feet! So when I wanted to kick my right leg out to the right, I DID!!!
Quick side note: being sick while working on everything else that I’m working on becomes exceedingly difficult. I seriously just want to be able to breathe clearly and freely! I know the only times in the past I had relief before the accident was when I would go for a run or a bike ride. I could legitimately get a full dose of fresh air! But now, my sinuses are struggling so much.
That’s kinda how all this started… I was going to get a second opinion on my sinuses that morning of the accident. I thought I was doing a good thing by taking my medical matters into my hands for once. Little did I know that I was about to be entering the most significant and adverse set of events in my life.
Not having the ability to be able to breathe clearly, thru my nose, and then because of the significant reduction in lung size, from the lobectomy, really makes for a much more difficult time. I want to be able to push more and more standing and walking at therapy, but it almost feels like my dang sinuses or lungs are limiting me more than my muscle strength is at certain times. The amount of controlled breathing I do, because my lungs have needed such an immense amount of rehabilitation, is insane.
Using the Inspirometer for so long, and then realizing that for such a long period I was only working on inhalation , as opposed to both exhalation and inhalation. It’s so interesting now having such a better understanding of both our parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems. How they work together, and keep our body functioning in the aspects of our bodies that we aren’t consciously controlling. But here I am having to worry about those parts as well. And then as we move down the chain of autonomic nervous systems that I have to control…
I really have had to take a lot of time to study so many systems in our bodies. Without having a background in medical, I’m surprisingly somewhat versed now in so many different subjects, only because I’ve suffered so many different injuries. So I guess that’s cool?
Wow, well back to my sensations! The amount that I’m able to sit up and control my trunk today has been phenomenal!! I’m really pleasantly surprised how well it is going! So well, that while I had the driving instructions today, I was able to support myself!!!
I drove a car today!!!!! That was absolutely invigorating!!
Mar 13
Wow, my quads are feeling incredible this morning! To think that they are alone in the feelings of sensations is an understatement!
Wow!! I’m in the standing frame this morning and I was able to let 1 hand down, and when I did, my hips started to tighten. But an interesting thing happened when it did, I was able to turn around…. I was actually able to see behind me!!!
I’m trying to get my abdomen stretched out, and it legitimately feels like I have like, a super tight set of straps wrapped around me. What I’d imagine a girdle would feel like. Trying to get a breath is difficult, and I can feel my insides being rearrranged when I really get it all into a deep stretch. But it feels so good!
Goodness. When my legs are this tired, they feel the most “normal”! I am absolutely wiped out from therapy today! Ashley had me doing sit to stands with BFR, and I was doing so many reps!!
Mar 14
Waking up this morning, attempting to have a yawn, and my tight chest always seems to prevent that from happening. It’s a reminder to me that I’m still healing. I had a thought about sleeping, and dreaming, and meditating last night. I had thought, what if meditating is trying to help recreate the type of sleep that more primitive animals get?
I’m not well learned on meditation, the story behind it all, or where it all came from. I just do it when I can’t sleep at night. I lay in bed early in the morning or late at night, and I slow everything in my head back down. It’s really quite calming, and peaceful to do. Usually after 40-60min, I can actually get myself to fall asleep, but not always. When I’m laying there, I really have to focus on being okay with myself, the situation, where I am, what I’m feeling. I couldn’t help but think about a dog at this moment. When dogs sleep, sometimes they are sleeping so light, it doesn’t take much to wake them up. Also, when they are out in the wilderness, they would have needed to stay alert, in case of oncoming predators. That’s what made me make the connection about what I was doing. If I’m still getting good rest in the day, but not always “sleeping” for a full 8hrs, how am I able to do that?
It’s an interesting thought. I don’t have to try to explain it anymore than that right now. But what I do need to do is contact insurance, make sure that’s all figured out, call a pulmonologist because I have had lingering phlegm in my lungs for over a week, a dermatologist because I have a weird blood blister on my leg for a month. I try to not let these things bother me more than they already do. So one step at a time to deal with em. Oh yeah, and then how this whole accident started….. going to get a second opinion on my sinuses…. I still need to get those polyps removed, because the amount of stuffiness that I experience really inhibits me throughout the day.
Not being able to take a nice full breath gets very tedious and frustrating. I’m doing 2-3hrs of exercise each day, so I want to be able to breathe!
Therapy now is ramping up so well, because I’m getting up walking in the braces everyday! Now I need to keep strengthening my quads, glutes, and hip flexors to get myself out of these KAFO’s! I would feel so good if I could “graduate” from using them! I’m able to readjust my legs inside and outside when I’m walking, so the therapist doesn’t have to help me keep my legs from crossing! Which is huge! I’m really glad to have the standing frame and getting in it 3x times a day! It’s really been helping, I’ll tell ya what!
My quads right now are really feeling engaged! Same thing with my gastrocs and tibialis anterior. I really do feel so much different in my feet, temperature swings of cold and hot now are sometimes accompanying the pins and tingles.
My hips have really been easing up, and I haven’t been waking up to my knees in my chest, as the night goes on. My legs are actually feeling relaxed when they need to be relaxed! Now to keep up that progress!
I was thinking about it last night still, and I realized how much easier it is to get in the standing frame to get up standing instead of getting on the floor to stretch out! I still want to get on the floor to make sure I still grt myself crawling!
Mar 15
I did something kinda cool today. I pushed myself down the sidewalk, down to the corner! With no help! It was honestly kinda wild because I had this realization, that I needed to take a step back, slow down, and slowly try to approach and push these curb cutouts on my own.
My back and abs are completely pooped right now.
3/16
NEW CAR DAY!
I made it to 3 different dealerships, and had a pretty wild ride for the day! The VW, Cadillac, and Subaru dealerships were quite the handful.
I didn’t even eat lunch today, I was pretty worn out from all this negotiating and trying out the vehicles.
But, I can say proudly that I’m a proud owner of a 2023 Subaru Outback! I don’t have much to say in terms of my recovery on this except it feels like I’m still a normal person able to do some things that are normal. And for that I am grateful.
The Astronaut on Earth 
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